I Can still Remember you
by Shinigami8419
Summary: Duo falls in love with his king, but cannot bring himself to face the reality of rejection. Shounen-ai. 1x2 SEVERE ANGST FACTOR! My first songfic, be gentle ^_^**Resubmitted without mistakes; CHAPTER 2 UPLOADED**
1. Default Chapter

I Can Still Remember You   
  
  
  
Warnings: shounen-ai, violence, angst, AU   
  
Pairings: 1+2   
  
Disclaimer: Don't own GW, don't own Blackmore's Night or their song…:-P can't sue me   
  
^_^   
  
//Blah// = lyrics   
  
  
  
Duo pulled the leather laces up on his tall boots tightly so that there would be no danger of   
  
them slipping. Next, his thick leather jerkin slipped on over his loose white shirt. He   
  
fastened his sword belt around his waist. He effortlessly went through all these motions   
  
without even thinking. His usually animated face was grim and sober. He fought back the   
  
tears, knowing they were of no use.   
  
He took his long hair in his hands and swiftly braided it to the tip. He paused as he   
  
reached for a black ribbon to tie it with. Staring at the strands as he held them in his   
  
hands, he contemplated. He had never really understood why he had always kept his hair   
  
so long…it had just always been that way. He had never really looked at it before…not   
  
before Heero. Heero had said he liked his hair.   
  
Duo's misty violet eyes went distant as soft memories prickled in his mind………strong but   
  
oh so gentle fingers eased away the purple ribbon that bound his hair in its twined braid so   
  
that the long chestnut tresses were released. Heero wanted to run his fingers through   
  
them…   
  
//I thought of you the other day,//   
  
Duo scowled, but found he was only angry with himself. He tied the black ribbon in place   
  
of the purple one from his memory and tossed the braid over his shoulder.   
  
"Stop feeling so sorry for yourself," Duo scolded himself. "He's the king…you knew he was   
  
bound to be betrothed."   
  
//How worlds have changed, led us astray,//   
  
//Colours seem to fade to grey,//   
  
//In the wake of yesterday,//   
  
Duo straightened his leather armour and fastened his cloak, both feeling heavier than they   
  
had ever done before.   
  
Relena Peacecraft………   
  
How he hated the name………   
  
He strode out into the courtyard of the castle, trying desperately to suppress the memories   
  
of what he had lost. He had fallen deeply in love with Heero Yuy, the king. Duo Maxwell,   
  
simple guardsmen, had fallen in love with his king. He didn't know how, he didn't know   
  
why. Not even now did he understand as he strode across the muddy courtyard under the   
  
grey sky, pacing towards the large castle gates.   
  
He knew that if he listened he could hear the stamping horses, the talking men and   
  
chatting townsfolk that had all gathered to watch solemnly as the rest of the army was   
  
sent off into battle. But he did not listen for what he knew he could hear. No matter how   
  
he tried not to dwell on that which hurt him, he could not help it.   
  
Heero's eyes had been so deep and mysterious when the rest of him had been so solid and   
  
unyielding…   
  
//You looked into my eyes,//   
  
//You had me hypnotised and//   
  
//I can still remember you………//   
  
Duo was so certain he had touched something in his king. Heero would not have degraded   
  
himself to sleeping with a guardsman unless he had truly felt something for him………would   
  
he? Heero had smiled when they had been together, he had talked, he had   
  
been………gentle. Had it been just and act?   
  
Duo swiped at his eyes with the backs of his gloved hands.   
  
No, Heero could not have felt anything………why else would he have gone and married the   
  
Peacecraft heir?   
  
But it was hard not feel the pain of betrayal, even though Duo knew he had no right to   
  
interfere in his king's relationships. He shut his eyes for just a moment as he leant on the   
  
heavy oaken gate of the castle, just allowing himself a small flickering of the times they   
  
had spent together.   
  
//I had a dream of you and I,//   
  
//A thousand stars lit up the sky,//   
  
They were standing on the king's balcony that looked out over the castle grounds. The   
  
night was young, cloaking the forbidden lovers in her secretive, black embrace. The stars   
  
had sent out a thousand points of light that extended into Duo's soul. His king and his   
  
lover wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, pulling him into his embrace, softly   
  
planting kisses along the length of the guardsman's long neck.   
  
Duo had smiled, feeling that for the first time in his life things were going right. He   
  
remembered reaching up with one hand to feel the soft, short hair of his king whilst   
  
entwining the fingers of the other with Heero's.   
  
//I touched your hand,//   
  
Duo, childishly, had not sung praises at the celebrations on the night of the king's wedding   
  
day. He had had to attend the ceremony out of formality, being captain of the guard. The   
  
king had not met his eyes the entire time. The Lady Peacecraft had never once stopped   
  
smiling. The king had never spoken to him again since that day, unless it was issuing   
  
orders. It was as if their secret and passionate affair had disappeared from history.   
  
//And you were gone,//   
  
But Duo remembered every glorious second of it with a pain of loss that was almost   
  
unendurable.   
  
//But memories,//   
  
//Of you live on………//   
  
This was why he had volunteered to head this last wave of attackers being sent into battle.   
  
He took a deep, steadying breath and walked out onto the square in front of the castle.   
  
With determination in every step, he strode through the ranks of men on horseback,   
  
carrying spears and swords. He heard the excited but worried chatter of the townsfolk   
  
gathered around the square. But all he could see, though he hated it so, was a pair of   
  
deep, loving, blue eyes.   
  
//You looked into my eyes,//   
  
//You had me hypnotised and//   
  
//I can still remember you………//   
  
The king stood on high on the battlements, his Lady Queen on his arm. He stared down at   
  
the assembled troops gathered at the gates who were preparing to ride out of the town   
  
and into the battle. This was their last hope. These soldiers were among the very last and   
  
he doubted very much whether he would see any of them alive again. But they were a   
  
well-drilled team and, with luck, they should be able to -   
  
Heero, in an uncharacteristic manner, suddenly jolted. He could see a cloaked figure   
  
making its way through the ranks to a riderless horse at the front of the cavalry. He   
  
recognised the ridiculous and beautiful braid that hung down the soldier's back. No! Duo   
  
wasn't leading the attack! He couldn't be! He'd be killed………   
  
Images leapt unbidden into Heero's mind, images that he had been able to disregard for a   
  
long time. He could feel the silk running through his fingers and could breathe, once again,   
  
the heady fragrance of clean hay and outdoors that ran rampant through it. He could hear   
  
the whispered murmurings of love in his ear that had been the only thing that had ever   
  
made him feel safe, important, and normal.   
  
//Those moments spent together,//   
  
//Promising forever and//   
  
//I can still remember you………//   
  
"My Lord King?" His wife's voice brought him back to reality. "Are you troubled?"   
  
No, Heero had to forget those times, forget those weakling emotions the guardsman had   
  
been able to scrape out of him. But he had to tear his eyes off the soldier as he mounted   
  
otherwise Heero was afraid that he might to start to remember more. 


	2. Chapter 2

Duo settled into his saddle and took up the reins. He could feel the whole company brace   
  
behind him for his command. Keeping his back and heart strong, he did not turn around to   
  
look on the man he loved, even though it may be the last time he would ever lay eyes on   
  
him. Heero had chosen his path and Duo would not be weak and let it dominate him.   
  
He dug his spurs into the flanks of his horse; she gave a shrill whinny and leapt forward   
  
into a loping gallop. Presently the thundering of the rest of the company's horses was close   
  
behind him and they galloped out of the town and up into the hills where the sounds of   
  
battle and the smell of blood hung in the air.   
  
//Do you ever think of me?//   
  
Heero sat in his chamber, being gnawed at on the inside by an unwanted but a very   
  
present fear. In his fingers he was holding a purple ribbon as tightly as if his life were   
  
dependent on it. He no longer felt like the king he was, but like a sorrowful young man   
  
who was losing something he genuinely cared for.   
  
His cold blue eyes were soft and fighting back tears as he once more felt the warmth of   
  
forbidden memories envelop him.   
  
Duo…light-eyed, ever-smiling, beautiful Duo. Heero didn't know why he'd fallen for the   
  
guardsman so hard, he just knew that he had. He remembered those violet eyes, nearly   
  
shut as they drifted to sleep, and the feathery breathing of secret words on his face.   
  
//And get lost in the memory?//   
  
Duo's company stormed down the hill into the valley where the battle was in full thrall. The   
  
enemy had been severely depleted, but so had King Heero's own forces. In fact, the latter   
  
were nearly defeated. But this last wave of troops was fuelled with anger and desperation   
  
and they fell upon the enemy as those who are not afraid to die.   
  
Duo's horse ploughed its way through the chaos and his sword cut through the enemy. His   
  
eyes were full of tears and he could not see. He knew this was the time when he could just   
  
give himself over to his selfish sorrow and let it loose on people he hated.   
  
He was knocked from his horse and the impact with the ground winded him. He brought   
  
his sword up just in time to block a vicious blow from one of the enemy who had   
  
descended on him. He pushed the man back with a grimace and scrambled to his feet, just   
  
in time to ward off another blow. The noise was so loud and thick it seemed to strike   
  
physical blows in his ears.   
  
The enemy opponent was strong, but Duo was agile. Even in his sorry state of mind, his   
  
battle-honed senses were enough to keep him out of harm as he tried to defeat the   
  
enemy. Suddenly, though, his opponent drew back.   
  
Duo felt an impact like he had been thumped in the back by someone's fist. His breath   
  
caught in his throat. He was then overwhelmed with the agony and blood spilled from his   
  
lips. An attacker behind him pulled his sword out of Duo's back with a sharp, viscous   
  
motion. Duo fell to the ground, his sword thumping into the grass beside him. There were   
  
a few seconds of unbearable agony and the taste of bitter blood in his mouth and then all   
  
was black.   
  
  
  
"My Lord King," Heero did not look up as Relena approached him. "You do not seem quite   
  
yourself today. Is it the battle which ails you?"   
  
Heero looked up at her. She was nothing special. Pretty? Yes. Young? Yes. Rich? Yes.   
  
Annoying? Hell yes. Did he love her? Of course not. He sat and looked at her for a while as   
  
she gazed at him in dumb bemusement. What had made him part with his Duo to be with   
  
her? Of course there were the obvious answers………she was a princess, their kingdoms   
  
were now joined because of their wedlock. But why was he always to act for the kingdom's   
  
well-being? Why couldn't he have acted for his own? If he had, Duo wouldn't be fighting.   
  
He'd be standing before him now.   
  
Maybe Duo would be trying to reassure him that the troops would soon defeat the enemy   
  
and that peace would come once more. Duo always had had away of getting through to   
  
him in ways other people couldn't. Heero was not looking at Relena anymore, even though   
  
his eyes were on her. The softest hint of a smile touched his lips as he once more started   
  
to recall what it had been like to forget he was a king for a while and just to believe he   
  
was a normal man in love with and being loved by the most special person in his life.   
  
//When you do,//   
  
//I hope you smile//   
  
//And hold the memory,//   
  
//A while………//   
  
The battle was over, the enemy was defeated. But the cheers that went up from King   
  
Heero's soldiers were weak and half-hearted. There were too many dead around to hear   
  
their cheers. Bodies were loaded onto stretchers to be carried back to the town for burial.   
  
It had started to rain.   
  
Two of the able-bodied soldiers mournfully bent down and lifted the body of their   
  
commander, Duo Maxwell, onto a stretcher. They shut his eyes in which life had once   
  
glittered so brightly and was now conspicuous in its absence.   
  
Life was cruel.   
  
  
  
Heero stormed out of his chamber. The soldiers were returning from battle and had been   
  
victorious. He wasn't sure what the force was that drove him to hurry outside but he just   
  
obeyed it.   
  
He emerged into the rain, unperturbed by the cold, wet drops, and started to rush along   
  
the battlements to get to the vantage point above the front gate. But he halted in his   
  
tracks. Spread out before him was the courtyard in which the tired and battered soldiers   
  
were being welcomed back.   
  
//You looked into my eyes,//   
  
There were stretchers being carried in on which lay the bodies of the dead and dying.   
  
Heero felt an icy fist clutch at his heart as he recognised one of the bodies.   
  
//You had me hypnotised and//   
  
Everything kingly disappeared from him. He forgot his crown, forgot his wife, forgot his   
  
duty. He ran down the stone steps, slick with rain, two at a time, skipping the last four all   
  
together.   
  
His feet skidded in the mud as he ran across the courtyard and flung himself down next to   
  
a stretcher that had just been lowered to the floor. He bent over the body of Duo, blood   
  
covering his chest and leaking from his lips, his eyes shut forever. King Heero wept   
  
unashamedly.   
  
//I can still remember you………//   
  
He gathered the body into his lap and pressed it against him, cradling the lolling head   
  
against his shoulder. He wiped at the blood uselessly with his fingers, trying to make it   
  
disappear.   
  
//Those moments spent together,//   
  
//Promising forever and//   
  
The rain caressed them both as King Heero knelt in the mud, weeping, clutching to him the   
  
body of his dead guardsman and destroyed love.   
  
Relena stared out of the chamber window and out onto the courtyard. Her face was as   
  
grim as stone. Fury boiled in her eyes. In her fingers she clutched a purple ribbon.   
  
//I can still remember you………//   
  
Relena turned away from the window and cast the ribbon into the fire in the hearth. The   
  
flames devoured it.   
  
//Still remember you………//   
  
//Still remember you………//   
  
//Still remember you………//   
  
//Still remember you………//   
  
//Still remember you………//   
  
Owari 


End file.
